if it is my fault you tell me

These past two years, i suppose i changed, i realize people were’nt the same and i just stop talking to them and they did the same.they talk to me,I talk to them only when there is a need.its very heart broken indeed but I’m just getting used to it that much that I don’t even have any feeling towards them anymore.i just stop talking to them and stop being talkative just because I’m sick of them.i’m sick of how they actually being so ignorant or am I the one who is too sensitive?u cook and u left the pot there unwashed for like days,weeks and even months.u left the plate,bowl unwashed in the sink,on the table,with the left over food remained on the table.u just did ur own stuff and never bother to sweep the house not even once.okay u did it.but I can barely counts how many times u swept the floor.u rarely wash the toilet.i remembered once only u washed the toilet.the rest is done by mine.i put my effort on washing the verandah and u simply litter it like nothing is wrong.it is okay at first.i don’t mind.but as the time passes by I lost my patience.How can I simply did all the cleaning while u guys just watched from a distance and become nothing more than just an observer.Is it that hard to even lend me a hand?we are living in the same house after all..

I’m sick of this and I’m really sick of it.I just let them be.Fine,let the floor left unswept.Let the bowls,and the pot be there until all the fungi grows on them.But that’s not the reality.I always cook and when they left the pot unwashed there I have no other choice but to wash it cause I’m gonna use it!in the end it is still me who did the cleaning.I left the floor unswept but when it comes to a point I can barely stand still and watched the dirty floor I eventually did the cleaning and mopping.In the end it’s me.I’m just sick of it.What shall I do people out there?tell me something that will soothe me.I don’t want to be a bad person who talk about their friends behind but I guess I just did so.am I  a bad person?i just lost my patience and I just don’t know how to cope with this.I am at my limit.Thats it.

 And now i only talk to the people i see everyday, cause i would’nt want to look so lonely but i am. 
Everyday i go to classes, in the mornings i sit by myself listening to music, i go to my class and if i feel like talking, i talk to my friend that sits beside me and that’s it.After all we are not even that close.
i dont have a friend  which i can talk to about anything anymore.I’m not miss bubbly either, its hard to keep a convo with people because i find them so boring :(.But if that people is very close to me I would be very talkative indeed.How can i make friends? i think its too late now, everyone in class are comfortable with their friends/groups i dont think i could fit in.i know they’re not interested in what I’m saying why should i care about what their talking about.i just feel like everyones fake, i can tell by the way they talk, act.But that’s of course not a good thinking.I should have think good about others although the fact may run opposite.I miss my old school and my old uni where there is friends and they really are what u called as friends indeed.I miss the old time pretty much.I guess I’ve met the wrong person in this phase of life.To be a loner is indeed hurtful but I got no choice.I don’t want to keep hurting myself again n again~~~Ya Allah beri aku kekuatan untuk menghadapi semua ini…..