In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Most Merciful.
its been ages since i last wrote here,,
*sigh*
my chest feels as tight as ever,,as if i'm holding a weight on it,,
the truth is that i keep missing my family especially my mom and my little irfan,,
with the holiday ended,me-returned to the college-again back to my oldself-a lonely girl yet i hardly show it-while the fact is that i feel like i cant hold on any longer,,i miss my mom,i do really miss her,i miss her to the point of exhaustion,i miss her like crazy,i miss her damn much,,your awful daughter is missing u like hell mom :( i want to call her but yet i;m afraid my tears will burst the moment i hear her voice,,what should i do then??i dont want her to know that i'm missing her like hell,,and that i'm crying every single day without a single one knowing,i dont want her to worries about me,,i'm such an awful daughter,i'm not more than just like a little kids who is crying when he doesnt see his mom around him,,mom,,i'm just afraid that i will not have enough strength to go through this,,for all this while i was just pretending to be a strong one while in fact my heart is crying like hell and i feel as if the things i went off everyday keep tearing me apart,,what should i do mom?do i have to keep pretending to be strong till the end?i just felt that i would have been stronger and not pretending to be strong if i have u close by me,,because i know it too much,,i get that kind of courage when u r close to me mom,,u r my greatest strength after all mom,,u r the reasons for what i'm doing right now,,u're the reasons why i keep holding on till today,,YA ALLAH,,jadikanlah aku penyabar dan tabah dgn setiap dugaanMu,,
fake it till u make it!!
i hope i will have just enough strength to hold on till the end~~
doakanlah anakmu ini ibu~~
bantulah hambaMu yang lemah lagi xberdaya ini YA ALLAH~~
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